League adds value for spec-savers sponsorship

Two weeks into the year and it seems that the big unexpected performer for this year is Newcastle. The Knights are performing well despite having half their pre season team on remand or living in fear that have been capture placing an order on the phone taps. Now I don't want to be the bearer of bad news to many Novocastrians (after all the location is punishment enough) but the NRL has signed onto the World Anti Doping Authority charter in order to get Federal Government funding.

The WADA rules say that if more than 3 members of one team are found guilty of a drugs charge then that team is banned from the competition and their medals are stripped, the result is wiped. The Knights have clocked up 2 team members and it's only a matter of time before a third gets charged. Could the NRL soon be scheduling in a mysterious bye each week - highly unlike. The same thing happened in 1998 when half the team tested positive to Roids and did you know to this day those drugs cheats still haven't given that trophy back.

The victim of this gross injustice was of course the Sea Eagles. It seems that every league fan hates them and is more than happy to see them lose by means fair or foul. And its still happening today. League fans for all the other teams should be rejoicing as the Big Manly props decimate opposition teams leaving them to be a crumbling mess the following week. But what do the Eagles get as a reward, some of the worst referring decisions made this decade.

How is it that three refs and two touch judges couldn't see a 'line ball pass that floated a meter forward from Daniel Mortimer. But that wasn't the ultimate injustice. Having been encouraged by scoring one try of a forward pass Daniel decided to go all out and throw a gridiron style pass that cut out the Manly winger and centre not by going over their heads but by chucking the thing about 5 meters behind them. Still I have seen that sort of thing before and no doubt has just about everyone else, particularly those who watched the 1995 grand final.

Anyway, speaking of confessed drugs cheats two of the biggest offenders from that era now both have a firm place on different TV channels.

The footy show has started the year well mostly thanks to Darryl Broman. Despite only being on the show for 5 minutes a week he at least spends most of his week trying to think of something funny to say. Unlike say Andrew Johns, who spends all week resting so he can come up with "they need to complete their sets of six" yes thanks scoop.

Ahh Andrew, football skills none surpassed but an intellect rivalled by garden tools. I can see Andrew now in the commentary box counting up to 6 on his fingers, god knows how he subtracts, does he gets his fingers amputated?

On the other channels Matty Johns show may also struggle if the adds are anything to go by. Hopefully the rest of the show is better than that. Still it might get good ratings as apparently all Matt's mates like to watch.


Daniel Mortimer "Man of the Match" with two touch down passes

Look out League and Rugby - here comes Lara

With all the recent publicity on Lara Bingle and Michael Clarke there is nothing left for me to do but jump on the bandwagon. I know that there isn't much more I can say that the Sunday papers didn't already, but, I am prepared to give it a go.

Why is it that half the Sunday papers are dedicated to the 'break-up'- when it was already in every other paper for a week before that. Why aren't the Sunday papers dedicating some time to investigative journalism on topics like, what exactly did happen to her 'stolen' Astin Martin.

Lara whose only claims to fame are having once appeared in an unsuccessful TV add and being the founder of the Shire Bogan look, is now single. So she will no doubt be on the prowl for her next sports star. Its unlikely that she will settle for your average plumber even the ones that are suddenly wealthy after having found $200,000 engagement rings in the pipes. (I always wondered why all plumbers were rich.)

For those in the know this had been on the cards for a while. For me the picture that told a thousand words was this gem - taken when they were probably out shopping.
The photo taken before they separated tells the story and its one all men with partners know its the "What the hell is it now" look - particularly common in shopping centres, family gatherings (Mans family only) and for the entire 15 minutes immediately before kick off during the State of Origin.

Michael can now settle down and try his luck on the tour of New Zealand or apply to cricket Australia for the media friendly girlfriend. Better yet he could lower the bar and get his mum to look for a girlfriend around Liverpool. That way he would get someone with lower expectations and someone his mum likes at the same time, which is more than Mitchell Johnson can say.

Anyway Back to Lara, given that she is off limits to the AFL and Cricket - this leaves players from the NRL and Super 14 Squads as potential targets for this dexterous social climber.

We can only speculate that given she lives in Bondi that she will target a local. That of course leaves, South's, The Roosters and the Waratahs players.

Of course now that they have split both will have to get their respective tattoos changed. Lara who has 'Wish you Were Here' probably wont have to worry as that could be used for the next partner, or as an impromptu memory tester once Alzheimer's sets in.
Michael might have a few more problems though as he has the initials LB tattooed on his arm. This of course puts the pressure on to find another partner with the initials LB and or give up and say it stands for Leg Bye his favourite scoring shot or make it LBW his most common for of dismissal (not like say Dave Warner who is generally out caught on the fence - attempting to move the score along - that's a hint Michael).

A few suggestions for a potential partner with the initials LB might be

Laura Braningan (Singer from the flash dance era)
Lauren Bacall (Actor from the 60s)
or perhaps Luke Burt from Parramatta.

I don't think Michael's that way inclined but you can never be sure, he does after all have his own range of underwear which is a bit of a bad sign. Still not as bad as having your own range of costume jewellery, if you do that it's time to give up and throw open the closest doors.