Beware The Real Enforcers

Its been a while now and I think I am beginning to miss it. What am I talking about but the drunken rugby 'incident' in rugby league where has it gone. Sure you could argue that isolated incidents have contributed to this lack of head lines, eg Todd Carney is banned from entire towns, clubs have learnt their lessons from past season launches - and or in Cronulla's case no player indiscretions get reported as they simply don't have any players that anyone would recognise.

I think it could be because players are going to pubs where they are friends, and friends don't let friends get caught for such things. At the Tigers there is no chance of any complaints from club owners since Benny 'the door' Ellias bought the club. At the Roosters, John Ibrahim went to the Roosters launch talking about how he has respect for only certain players. How exactly does he get to call the shots about respectable players coming into his clubs. The last time Jarrod Hayne and the Eels boys went to an Ibrahim club they were shot at when they were leaving.

So how is it exactly that he and club owners are now the respectable ones.

Is it just me or does this sound a bit rich, particularly if you believe the underbelly version. Has anyone else been watching this latest season of Under belly. I have been an avid fan in the past but this time around I have been struggling to maintain interest and its not just a result of the lack of SBS style highlights.

The thing that bugs me is what a complete crock the story is. I haven't seen such a complete work of fiction since Ben's last flex sheet, seemingly written entirely by members of the ibrahim family.

John Ibrahim is showing what a hard working local business man he is by going to the rooster season launch and saying how he only respects certain players - and only they would be allowed in his clubs.

In the channel 9 version a hard working honest bouncer works his way up through the ranks to part own his first night club a year after leaving school. In this the channel 9 version it assumes that he saved every pay cheque working as a bouncer and as a bouncer he was paid around $4m a year. Honest John is mentored through the process by hard working honest George Freeman and Lennie Macpherson.

In the police version, George Freeman and Joe Ibrahim never met, Lennie Macpherson was a hitman never seen in public and had long since retired.

I think I preferred the previous versions of underbelly when they base the story on dead people so they couldn't get sued. This one seems to miss some important facts, like the whole thing is about bikie gangs and how they make their money. Sam and Mick Ibrahim were the guys in charge of the Parramatta nomads bikie gang - a gang that Sam joined then became president of.. the same day he joined, no nothing suspicious there officer. We know what bikie gangs are famous for cooking up but you need somewhere to sell it which is where the nightclub comes in. And of course you can't be the licensee of a pub if you have criminal record which is where 17 year old clean skin comes in.

Still I think I can understand why Channel 9 is missing the bikie element to the story, David Gyngell travels by air a lot and he knows that there is a bollard with his name on it if he gets to close to the mark.

Of course the government is attempting to put a lid on things by bringing in some very specific legislation to ban criminal types with middle eastern backgrounds doing shonky deals, Unfortunately this hasn't worked as both Joe Tripoid and Eddie Obeid are both still around.

Still I suppose if we wait for the story to actually end it will be decades old. Much like the first series of underbelly, started a decade ago and still going today. Mind you my theory is that the school accountant had Carl done in, "where are the term one fees, haven't got them then cop that fat boy."

Have you seen what schools charge. Thats the new underbelly - school principals going around knee capping parents for school fees. They are versitile to, they dont charge protection money - they have no refundable registration deposits.
Forget Mick Gatto driving over Melbourne collecting protection money, just imagine the 'Montesori crew' standing over parents range rovers with a baseball bat demanding contributions to the "School Building Fund".

Lord Have Mercy - please no more AFL Adds

Is it just me but has anyone else got the feeling that the NRL no longer exists? I was watching one program on channel 7 then another on channel 10 after that had finished (Thats free to air TV for any rugby followers). Every 10 minutes there was an AFL\Swans add - in every set of adds there was that stupid versions of swans players in shiny white shorts kicking their way to the 2004 finals series. The add is nauseating enough to make you switch channels immediately features all the famous swans players - ie the ones that have retired - kicking away back in the days when the team had some talent.

How is it that the AFL can invest millions of dollars in advertising this drivel. In a corresponding period of 2 hours later at night I watched as channel 9 played wexactly no adds promoting any game or the NRL. IN fact I have only seen one NRL add this year - which took me at least a minute to work out, that it was an acctual add about NRL.

How much money have the AFL got to spend pointlessly flogging the swans. When will this torture end. Probably not until they realise how much money is being soaked up by their new Blacktown Franchise. Thats not to say that I am not totally behind this dead loss, If it does nothing else it will at least be creating some employment out there. But as we all look forward to its eventual founding and subsequent collapse, we can only laugh off the fact that they attracted an AFL team.

Those in the know like myself know what happened to the disastrous bid from the Blacktown council to host the 2008 Olympics. Some of their plans were ingenious from the lighting of the flame (Flaming coke bottle tossed from a moving car), the 100 meter hurdles "athletes" get a 4 second start from the local constables and are required to hurdle various obstacles such as cars, fences etc. The sprint to be held at the local greyhound track is simply a case of outrunning the police dog - last man standing wins the gold.

There would be no shooting events due to the obvious advantages of the overskilled locals. There would however be an olympic first in the boxing - with only husband and wife teams competing

The athletes village would be the many empty schools in the area. In the end they could all be treated to a grand closing ceremony with the "fireworks display" being provided local students practicing their arson skills.

I give the whole thing 5 years and 20 million and hopefully less adds.

The three things I know about advertising;
1) Advertising transforms a yawn into a yearn (except in the AFL where they acknowledge that this is still happening in NSW)
2) Advertising tells us what unnecessary luxuries we can't do without. (AFL)
3) One picture may be worth ten thousand words, but some advertisers believe in using both in the same ad (More AFL)